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Events and workshops
Tending our Grief for the World
“An opportunity to be with grief in a very held setting.”
Held by grief tender Sophy Banks, “Tending to Our Grief for the World” is an online journey to a space of expressing and witnessing the feelings which arise in response to these times.
Whether you're impacted by injustice, violence, environmental destruction or harm, we invite you to take time to tend to what you are carrying, in the company of other caring people.
Taking time to build trust, we will invite our truth, and welcome the range of emotions that naturally arise when we witness injustice, violence and harm to any part of the living web of life. This can bring a sense of deeper connection to self, to others in the circle, and to our sense of aliveness and care for the world.
All feelings are welcome, rage and outrage, sorrow, fear, despair, paralysis, guilt, overwhelm, and what is not felt - the numbness or distancing that can occur when we don't have supported and shared spaces to feel.
We accept a maximum of 20 participants. Sophy will be assisted by 1-2 assistant facilitators who support the group space.
“Pain for the world is not only natural, it is a necessary component of our healing. As in all organisms, pain has a purpose: it is a warning signal, designed to trigger remedial action. It is not to be banished by injections of optimism or sermons on “positive thinking.” It is to be named and validated as a healthy, normal human response to the situation we find ourselves in. Faced and experienced, its power can be used. As the frozen defences of the psyche thaw, new energies and intelligence are released.”
Who is this for?
Anyone who is feeling grief of any kind for the wider systems of life, human and beyond, whether you have attended a space for grief before or not. If you are feeling close to overwhelm or very short of support and holding we recommend you put more support in place before attending. Plesae be in touch if you are not sure.
Practical Details
Dates:
Tue 24 Jun 2025 3:00 PM - 7:00 PM BST (Check your timezone)
Wed 9 Jul 2025 4:00 PM - 8:00 PM BST (Check your timezone)
Tue 12 Aug 2025 9:30 AM - 1:30 PM BST (Check your timezone)
Fri 10 Oct 2025 3:00 PM - 7:00 PM BST (Check your timezone)
Pricing:
The cost reflects the fact that the group will be facilitated by 2-3 grief tenders and is limited to 20 people maximum.
General Admission per session: £85,-
Concession £75,-
Supported fee for people on low income: £45
Frequently Asked Questions
What happens in a Grief workshop?
There are 3 main parts to a workshop:
Building the banks of the river: coming together as a group, noticing what nourishes us, creating safety through agreements, getting to know each other; sharing some information about grief tending together, what we mean by grief, and calling in support in many ways including through simple ceremony.
Stirring, expressing and witnessing grief: we use different practices such as writing or drawing and sharing; expressing in a “circle”; creating our own form, and more. This is the central focus of the workshop
Integration and preparing to return: giving attention to the body so our physical and nervous systems have time to integrate any shift or impact; soothing and calming through breath, sound and touch; orienting back to the support we will call on, and noticing anything we are taking from this back to our everyday lives.
What feelings are welcome at a Grief tending event?
All feelings are welcome. Grief includes all painful feelings – fear, rage, guilt, shame, numbness, despair, disgust and more, as well as sorrow. These feelings are all a natural part of being human, and for many of us there are few outlets to really express what is true for us. For some the main experience may be of feeling nothing, perhaps that grief is a long way off. Staying with that feeling is also grief work, and is also welcome. And sometimes we cannot separate the arising of sorrow, love, joy, fear, courage, hope, despair. This helps us to see that these feelings are not separate, that our joy and love are intertwined with the grief of loss; our fear is the flip side of our courage, and our anger is often close to our passion for truth, justice and healthy boundaries.
Is it ok to come for part of the workshop?
We ask that everyone comes for the full journey. All three stages are important – mainly for your own well being!
On line Grief tending
We have now hosted several grief tending events on line, and found that even with the challenges of distance and technology we can create a profound, welcoming space enabling the release of grief, the balm of being witnessed and the healing of hearing others in their deep truth.
In each workshop we will create ceremony in our own space, coming together to call in support and finding the many ways we are connected even when we are not physically together.
How is Grief tending in a group different to doing it on my own or with one other?
Grief tending in a group seems to have some powerful effects that for many who come feel natural, strengthening and relieving. Here are some of Sophy’s thoughts on why this is:
In a grief tending group we are both the banks of the river for each other and the one falling down into our vulnerability and honest pain. Unlike in a therapeutic relationship we are both the strength for others and the one in need of support. Bringing this mix to the places in us that feel broken can itself be restorative. None of us are only broken, only pain. We are also compassion, support, loving arms to hold and reach out to others.
In a culture where for many of us there are very few places to be honest about our painful feelings it can be very relieving and connecting to be with others willing to share their vulnerability. “I’m not the only one”. “I’ve felt there was something wrong with me because I feel so much”.
When we hear the pain of others expressed it touches other aspects of our own grief. This might feel overwhelming, but here we are also many people holding this together. We can feel that the different areas of grief we carry are being tended to without me having attend to it all myself.
I believe we evolved to feel and express pain as a way of bonding communities of people together. It helps us to see each other from our hearts when we are tangled in the irritations and stresses of daily life.
Meet your host
Sophy Banks
Sophy has been working towards the transformation of systems of harm for many years, as a therapist, constellator, grief tender and radical footballer,. She has been leading Grief Tending spaces for over 10 years, drawing on the teachings of Sobonfu Somé, Joanna Macy, Maeve Gavin and many others. She was surprised during COVID to find that, working online, the practices could still be powerful and effective for releasing held grief.
From Conflict to Connection: Creating Culture That Serves Life, Not Power
Division, burn out, conflict, breakdown and collapse don’t have to be the dominant stories.
Healthy Human Culture (HHC) is a framework and embodied approach developed by Sophy Banks that integrates insights from systems thinking, modern psychology and wisdom traditions. It supports you with insights and practices that can deepen your understanding of human dynamics from the individual to the global. It explores why people often create harm even when they don’t mean to and how we might change course to develop healthier practice and relationships. Awareness brings power, allowing us to weave new stories in our families, workplaces and systems.
We invite you to our introductory workshop, exploring the movement towards more health and a more alive world.
What to expect
In this workshop, we'll create a supportive space to:
Explore the core principles and theories of Healthy Human Culture and how they apply to understanding human dynamics from personal to systemic levels
Experience the framework through embodied exercises that help you feel and understand these insights in your body, not just your mind
Apply HHC maps and tools to real situations and challenges from your own life, work, or community
Connect with other practitioners from diverse backgrounds who are exploring similar questions about creating healthier cultures
Discover practical approaches for shifting patterns that create harm (even unintentionally) toward ones that support thriving relationships and systems
Receive coaching and support from both our team and fellow participants as you explore how this work might serve your unique context
Through guided exercises, group discussion, and experiential learning, you'll gain insights and practices that can help you weave new stories in your families, workplaces, and wider systems - moving from division and burnout toward connection and aliveness.
Please make sure to check your local time!
Wednesday, August 20th, 18:00 UK / 10:00 US Pacific / 20:00 East Africa. Please click here to check your local time.
Book your spot
We are aiming to make this work accessible and offer tickets on a sliding scale. We trust you to choose a contribution that matches your personal situation.
Meet your hosts
Theresa Fend
Theresa is a facilitator, community weaver, and regenerative culture practitioner. She has been studying and growing Healthy Human Culture since 2021, applying its principles to projects ranging from Climate Activism to Mothers Circles.
With over a decade of experience in supporting projects working towards systems change, Theresa is committed to nurturing resilience and belonging — especially in times of transition and complexity. Her work is rooted in somatic wisdom, collective care, and the rhythms of life in transition, —whether personal, cultural, or ecological.
Read more at theresafend.com.
Kenny McKarthy
Kenny is a facilitator and systems change practitioner who works at the intersection of personal, cultural and systemic change. He has been practicing Healthy Human Culture and co-facilitating 8 week HHC learning journeys since 2021, drawn to its embodied approach that connects his practice of social change and psychotherapy.
Currently Engagement Lead at Involve and a Senior Trainee in Core Process Psychotherapy at the Karuna Institute with an emerging private practice in Bristol, Kenny is passionate about creating spaces that support both individual healing and collective transformation. For him, exploring how we can come together and find common ground feels like the most important enquiry of our time.
Read more at kennymccarthy.com.
Theresa Fend and Kenny McCarthy are part of a growing community around Healthy Human Culture. We have incorporated HHC in our life and work, and want to share our experiences and invite you to find your own.
We want a healthier future for all.
Foundation: 7 week learning journey
“Your view of HHC has been really clearing to me, it completed my view of health and healing. It makes so much sense integrated with IFS and Process Work! “
— KD, 2023 participant
How do we create healthy relational culture?
At work, at home, in our communities and in our change-making, Healthy Human Culture offers insights and practices to deepen understanding of how we can make (or break) positive dynamics between us.
Join an 8-week online learning journey with Sophy Banks and the Healthy Human Culture team to explore principles and practices for growing and restoring health as an individual, or as part of any group.
Register now for the next HHC learning journey:
15th October - 3rd December
Wednesdays, 18:00 - 20:30 UK time (click to see your local time)
7 weekly sessions, plus one practice session
Cost £180 – £360 sliding scale
Learning journey content
Here’s what we will cover:
What is healthy culture? What do we mean by health, what words help us define it, and what is not-health?
Cross cultural definitions of health, and what this has to do with human neuro-biology
The importance of return paths to a place of trust, safety and connection
Exploring underlying causes of cultural patters which cause harm, violence, separation, inequalitiy?
Maps for understanding and navigating the complexity of being human, as individuals, in relationships, and in the wider world
If you have specific areas of interest please let us know on your registration form.
Meet your host
Sophy Banks
Sophy has been working towards the transformation of systems of harm for many years, as a therapist, constellator, grief tender and radical footballer,. She has been leading Grief Tending spaces for over 10 years, drawing on the teachings of Sobonfu Somé, Joanna Macy, Maeve Gavin and many others. She was surprised during COVID to find that, working online, the practices could still be powerful and effective for releasing held grief.
Practical Information
All learning journeys are seven online sessions of 2.5 hours, weekly or fortnightly. Alternate weeks focus on presentations of concepts with embodied practices and inquiries; and bringing your own real life situations to explore with the facilitators and other group members. This grounds the concepts in your actual current experience. For this journey, we will offer an extra week of practice, where participants can support each other in deepening this work.
Sessions are facilitated by Sophy plus support. See more of the wide range of skills and experience the facilitation team are bringing here. Recordings and notes from every session will be available during and after the programme.
All journeys in English and times are UK times except where shown.
Cost
£180 – 360 (or €200 – 380) for the full journey, includes downloadable recordings of all sessions. Please be in touch if you need a bursary place – we want the work to be accessible to all those who want to benefit from it.
We will send you payment details. Please pay in full for courses starting in less than 1 month; or 50% deposit for later journeys.
Foundation: 7 week learning journey
“Your view of HHC has been really clearing to me, it completed my view of health and healing. It makes so much sense integrated with IFS and Process Work! ”
How do we create healthy relational culture? At work, at home, in our communities and in our change-making, Healthy Human Culture offers insights and practices to deepen understanding of how we can make (or break) positive dynamics between us.
Join a 7-week online learning journey with Sophy Banks and the Healthy Human Culture team to explore principles and practices for growing and restoring health as an individual, or as part of any group
Register now for the next HHC learning journey:
Tuesday 29th October - Tuesday 10th December
7 weekly sessions
Cost £150 – £300 sliding scale
PRACTICAL INFORMATION
All learning journeys are seven online sessions of 2.5 hours, weekly or fortnightly. Alternate weeks focus on presentations of concepts with embodied practices and inquiries; and bringing your own real life situations to explore with the facilitators and other group members. This grounds the concepts in your actual current experience.
Sessions are facilitated by Sophy plus support. See more of the wide range of skills and experience the facilitation team are bringing here. Recordings and notes from every session will be available during and after the programme
Cost: £150 – 300 (or €180 – 360) for the full journey, includes downloadable recordings of all sessions. Please be in touch if you need a bursary place – we want the work to be accessible to all those who want to benefit from it.
Register here for any of the journeys below. We will send you payment details. Please pay in full for courses starting in less than 1 month; or 50% deposit for later journeys.
DATES, TIMES AND TEAMS:
All journeys in English and times are UK times except where shown.
LEARNING JOURNEY CONTENT
Here’s a bit about what the learning journey will cover. If you have specific areas of interest please let us know on your registration form.
What is healthy culture? What do we mean by health, what words help us define it, and what is not-health?
Some cross cultural definitions of health, and what this has to do with human neuro-biology
The importance of return paths to a place of trust, safety and connection
Exploring possible underlying causes of cultural patters which cause harm, violence, separation, inequalitiy?
Maps for understanding and navigating the complexity of being human, as individuals, in relationships, and in the wider world
Orientation: 20 July 9:0 - 12:0
A solid introduction to Healthy Human Culture concepts and core practices
